Here’s what I’ve learned about carrying heavy things.
Firstly, not all heavy things are mine to carry.
In my own life I had to stop and really evaluate “is this mine to bear”?
Whether these are secrets from your past, of emotional, mental, sexual, physical or financial abuse is it really your responsibility to hold these anymore? To feel guilty or keep them hush-hush in hopes of not hurting others or having to deal with the emotional fall out and anger of family members?
Maybe it is something completely different, like having a child that is diagnosed with autism or some other pervasive developmental disorder. The profuse guilt we often carry as parents can be one of these burdens.
Secondly, once I recognize this is not mine what can I do?
This is a point in which you see a professional. This can be a very confusing and re-traumatic event when we recognize that we have been carrying something that was never our burden to bear in the first place. Working through this in the presence and support of a professionally trained and educated clinical therapist is extremely important. Without this we may fall into depression or apathy, not knowing what action to take or how to cope on a personal level.
Thirdly, know that building a loving, accepting support system around you makes all the difference.
According to Dr. Daniel J. Siegel, our basic biology requires loving, acceptance from our closest connections in order to thrive! Secure attachments facilitate and promote psychological well-being. We may have to seek these out and work on building these. Trust and secure attachment are not instantaneously built, therefore in our initial stages, seeking out a properly trained professional is essential in moving forward as we build these relationships in our life.
If you suspect you might be carrying a burden that is not yours connect with me today.
Take a big step toward yourself.