Signs of Codependency
Symptoms of codependency include:
- Staying with an addicted partner– Staying in a relationship with an addicted partner. It is very easy to get caught up in staying with an addicted partner due to fear of leaving. Fear of being a bad person, or not wanting to hurt the partner even though you are experiencing severe psychological pain each day. Staying with an addicted partner is also called Enabling.
- Unrecognized Low Self Esteem: The codependent may deny this issue, thinking that they do not have low self esteem, however underneath it all you may feel unlovable outside of the relationship role and depends on the opinions of other people to feel personal, positive self-worth. You may feel afraid that if you leave you will make a mistake and end up alone for the rest of your days. You doubt your own judgement in leaving an unhealthy partner.
- People-pleasing: The opinions of other people have a great deal of weight for the codependent individual. This person will do anything to make sure others have a positive opinion of them. The person may feel intense guilt or an inability to say “no” to others. What other people think about you matters so much that you will stay with an unhealthy partner to ensure your life looks more normal.
- Fixing or Caretaking: Intentions are good however the person feels a primary need to care for or others, often at the expense of self-care; in extreme situations, the person doesn’t feel secure or comfortable unless needed. Caretaking, mothering or fixing becomes an identity of a codependent person.
- Unhealthy, or absence of, boundaries: The codependent person may not have a sense of boundaries, either for oneself or others. These individuals may offer unwanted advice, feel responsible for other people’s feelings, or want to manipulate or control others in order to feel secure.
- Love Addiction: Because the codependent person feels defined by relationships, they may become an obsessive focus for the individual; on the other hand, actual relationships may lack emotional intimacy. Have you heard the term love addiction? The codependent person stays in unhealthy relationships because this feels NORMAL to them. Feeling unsafe, undervalued, mistreated, or unheard often originates from your family of origin. So being in an unhealthy relationship feels like home.
Break the Cycle: Codependent people are often unaware of the cycle they are caught within. From one unhealthy relationship to the other, all feels normal because often codependency was present in their family of origin. In order to break this cycle one will need to fully engage in waking up to their own patterns and ways of being, which can be painful to explore and admit. Saying goodbye to a unhealthy partner, especially if they are an addict of any sort, is an important aspect of walking toward health and wholeness. Learn as much as you can about codependency and enabling. I love Dr. Ramani’s videos because she is clear in her definitions and explanations.
Call Safe & Sound Therapeutics today and book an appointment with Shauna or Brittany to explore more about how you can walk toward a more healthy balanced life today.