In “The Power of Attachment”, by Diane Poole Heller, PhD, she points out that it is important to remember that no matter what happens to us as children we adapt to our caregivers. As a result, by interacting with our parents and their nervous system, we internalize how we view relationships and form strategies for meeting our emotional and social needs. Consequently, if as a child, we reach out and are met with neglect or rejection, we will ultimately reduce our attachment seeking behaviour.
Therefore, what does someone look like in today’s world with an avoidant attachment style. Typically, avoidant people can be described as a “lone wolf,” “insensitive,” “cold,” and/or a “workaholic.”
But how does one evolve their attachment style into one that is secure? Talking to a health professional can be one way. Another option is practicing joint activities with a friend. It’s preferable if you choose an activity that will help you include the other person in the experience as it unfolds. Examples of activities are; hiking, dining out or visiting a museum. Once attending the activity, do your best to connect with your partner or friend as you experience the activity together. It’s important to remember that you don’t have to do all the talking or interacting during the activity. However, try your best to be a little more interactive and communicative than normal.
If you wish to speak to someone more about your attachment style, contact Safe and Sound Therapeutics.