Apparently, a secure attachment style is the attachment style we all strive for! However, even if it seems unattainable, an unbelievable goal or cannot possibly be something that you could possess, know that we can someday attain a secure attachment style as it is just waiting to be discovered, recalled and practiced. With secure attachment, relationships with others become more rewarding and healthier. Additionally, secure attachment reflects a positive enough environment that creates and leads to basic trust.
According to the book, The Power of Attachment by Diane Poole Heller, PhD, here are a couple skills that you can practice in your daily life to encourage secure attachment in yourself.
- Listen deeply: Take the time to listen to those you have relationships with, reflect and ask questions to further understand them
- Practice presence: Show up, pay attention, put the electronic device down and let the other person know that you are there for them
- Maintain contact: Either through calls, texts, emails, talking or all of the above! An important reminder is to not keep score of who messages first or responds the quickest
Try out some of these skills in your own time and see if they increase your connection and attachment within your relationships!
Feel free to reach out to Safe and Sound Therapeutics for more skills to practice when striving for a secure attachment style.